Dear Diary,
Its been one week tat i started working for nuh..n im so stress up...im only like one week old n they ask me to take care of one team by myself, no preceptor or an extra EN to help, one team consist of (2 n half cubical tat is 15patient total, sponging, showering, feeding, ngt feeding, parameters, hypocount, tansfering patient to renal unit n etc) all by myself, u see how tiring it is, i got to do tis for 2days tat was sat n sun...was expecting the ward to b calm n not much thing to do, but i was wrong, lots of thing needed to b done, i only got 5-15mins of break (my own timing, my break was not secduled), n since im in team C, i need to top up injection trolley n check my items if all is there...i got scolded for doing my job at my own paste, meaning slowly. I almost cried, but i tahan cuz i know they wan test me if i could take a real EN job...all tis have not included (dressing, iv therapy, insulin, CAPD, weighing patient daily, ordering of patient food, using the computer to update stuff n etc) and the bad thing is i got to finish my check list at least 3months b4 ending of probation. Hope the following week i would get help n more ENs were to b in the ward...
For today i could relax, cuz i got my check list n sister wan to orientate me around the ward n into really details stuff, n she took the whole day, good la, i no need work tat day, n i got NYP students around to help, they just came in...gd la but only 3weeks n i only c them 1week liao, 2 week orientation with new intake...hahahaa...
AHHH...just by thinking abt it n typing it in here is giving me more headache...
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To Khai,
I dare to write ur name out loud cuz no one knows u...i would like to thank you so much for hurting my feelings 3times in a row.
1st u broke my heart, made me gone completely crazy and i attempt suicide lots of time...
2nd you told my 2 friends tat i not ur type but never wan to tell me directly...
3rd u broke all my secrets to Khairul, n tell u sumthing, u r not us, u dont feel the pain, u have not seen him yet n i know u will never feel it...
i think for the whole 1-2years of knowing each other, u dont understand friendship n never treasures every secret tat was shared, instead u blow it off...u never seen the bad side of me yet, soon if u ever do a major damage in my life n to my friends, u will get it from me...
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To my boyfriends who is reading my blog, Eg, faizuan bob, suhaimi and who ever, im so sorry if ever you boys dont know im a bisexual, i wont b expecting u guys to comfort me cuz i know u guys felt awkward, but just take precaution of watever im doing k, if ever u seen i attempt suicide do help me k, im giving u guys the opportunity to scold me if ever u see scars on my hands, girlfriends also advise to also k, i dont wan my life to b full of sadness n loneliness...
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