Emotion Out Break

dear diary,

i cant sleep, been thinking alot, yesterday

at medical centre, i dream abt him, since now

a days he is being super hardworking,

it kinda scares me seeing him behaving

in such ways, cuz he isnt like tis,

so during my dream, i was one of the sargents,

he came n brought us rations n drink (as was in

real life), as he leave, i heard the sargents talk

abt him, gd n bad point, gd point is tat

he changed for his own sake, bad point

is tat the sargent thinks he is up to something,

like wanting to earn something, or telling

them tat he is improving to earn something,

im scared for him, but glad its a dream...

when im done with duty, get bck to bunk,

he forgots his lock key, text him abt it, but he

didnt reply, might b buzy with gf, but till now,

he didnt reply me, got really worried,

tomoro i cant text him, as he will have a date

with his gf, nvm la i shall ask him when in camp,

hope he is alright...

suddenly today, i got all scared abt thing,

lots of things just strike my mind, im lost n i got scared,

ask a few friends to accompany me tomoro,

but none wan go out, buzy with classes, work n

some r concern abt their travel fare, im not asking to

use ur money on me, just b there for me,

guess cant, its ok, i understand,

tomoro right after mum go work, im going out by myself,

im used to being alone...

Lets Continue...

Dear Diary,

Its been a while since i blog,

maybe its due to army and i always got all tired.

But now, all of the sudden, my heart felt so lonely,

i don't have much people to talk to,

so by blogging, at least it could clear some of my thoughts...

People whom i like to talk to about my feelings,

are my best-friends n this guy in army,

they understands my feelings n needs completely,

but i cant always be texting them or calling them,

they too have personal life to entertain.

For now all i need to do is try to live on my own,

which i have always been doing n i hate it,

its not that i hate being alone, i use to b all alone

last time without friends, but now

i change, i talk a lot, so i need friends to entertain me, or my mood

will just drop...

As for today, once again i'm the only one other then COS,

got left behind as my entire Alpha company get

to go home n enjoy their day, this is the second time

i'm having duty right after an outfield, n next day

would b either a P.H or OFF, this is so not my month,

n guess what, next week my duty will be on Saturday!!

HEAR TAT! ITS SATURDAY!!!

gosh i'm angry, hopefully next month my duty

would be like in the middle of the week of maybe

early of the week, n weekend duty would b a Sunday

instead of a Saturday...God hear my prayers, make my wish come true...

Once i put a person in my love (either a friend or a lover) list,

their name will b permanent with me unless,

u break my heart till i cant bare to find

myself, that will drop right to my BITCH LIST!

Its cold in medical centre, please don't rain...