Saturday, February 24, 2007

WHAT MY MUM SAID.....

Dear Diary,
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In my mind i already said that maybe when i grow up i wan to be a model...u know the fashion show, people walk from the back to the front with all kind of clothes. Well...my ambition was to be a Staff Nurse but second
was model. Yesterday, me n my mum go out to top-up my sister phone. On the way to the SAM Machine, we
talk aboutpart time work la, i told my mum that during sec sch, i won 1st for model contest (Class one la), well
u know mums surly don't believe one rite. I told her that i got a price from the teacher. Then out of the sudden she said,"If u wan to work part time, i allow but if u take model as ur part time, don't even expect u will even touch the floor of the house." My eyes was holding the bag of water that was about to tear out. Then i say to myself, how she know that i wan to work as a part tyme model? Then i think again, is she not allowing me to be me? All the way back home, i was heart-broken and surprise. U all know la, i don't show my emotions in front of anyone, until its really hurting. So my mum don't know i was heart broken.
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What ever la...now i wan to study my bio. Hope I Pass Tis Tyme

Sunday, February 18, 2007

M I Invincible???

Dear Diary,

Sejak ShaSha selalu dah tak dgn family lagi, die yg selalu dpt attention, bile along telephon nenek je, topic shasha ade rumah? bile shasha balik? semuanya keluar, sampai along tak sempat nak berbual dgn nenek abt myself. SELALU SHASHA. Then semalam, bile along tak dpt ikut nenek n family gi melaka, nenek kate, jgn sampai along jadi cam shasha, lupe keluarga, then fikir la, kalau along pergi tapi ayah atau ibu takde, along n adik2 along akan rase kesorangan, they only that abt their happiness. Ah..lagi pun, kalau along ikut pun, will along get their attention? NO...they will focus on Shasha, even my adk sedara yg rapat dgn along pun cari "Mane kakak shasha?" M i no longer needed to them??? Ya i know they love shasha too, tapi jgn la sampai lupakan along and andi...pastu ckp ibu tak bagus jage anak la,wat the FUCK? Ibu aready did her best to take care of her family, by her own, TENGOK LA AYAH? DIE BUAT APE? NOTHING......TAK TOLONG IBU LANGSUNG, die dgn Mak Uchie aje.

I get this feeling that my new born sister will get lots of things from ayah and its totally not fair. BUAT APE YG AYAH SUKE ASALKAN DIE BAHAGIE SUDAH!!!!!!!

Who m I????

Dear Diary,

I dont really know who i am to the world. Some people hate me just because i'm soft and the girly type. But It my nature, wat i could see that the one who is close to me dont mind what i m, but sometimes the other people hurt my feeling by going further away from me. Some people laugh at me when i'm the only guy who is hanging around with girls, if i follow the guys, others might think they r gays, i did not ask 4 all that. I'm the type who is MANJA2 to frens n Family. Well in SEC Sch, people pretant to b my fren, but only now i know the truth that actually they hate me, i know it from a fren of mine that was ones my bestfriend. I think i'm bring embarrestment to people who is close to me. Sometimes i feel like i dont even belong the world, i feel like Buried myself or Jumping into a quicksand. Just something to get out of this world. The thing that really hurt
me is that, when ever someone heard my name, their mind will think "Oh, its the soft guy." Or "The Bapok who is always hanging out with girls." Now i got new friends, i also dont know wat their feeling really are, just
2 answer either Hate me OR Love Me?


-Hope My Life End Soon, I Can't Take It Anymore :'( -

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

An Horrible Faliure

Dear Diary,

2 day, its my worst nightmare, my bio class test 1 result, i was expecting myself to pass, but in the end i failed so terok. My Bio teacher was DARN strick and he said to all the failures and just passes that if u all dont buck up, u will
end up wasting ur time in nursing. U know wat i felt, i felt so down that i cried at home when i told my mum that i failed my bio. Adding salt to the wound, tis is my favorite course of all, if i drop of this course i dont know where to go anymore. But i felt happy when
my mum told me not to give up, its only the beginning, now u learn ur mistake and next Test try to concentrate more on the important part. Proof to Mr Raj that u can do it.

-I will proof to everyone in class that i can do it.-

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

My Very First Blog :-)

Dear Diary,

This is my very first blog and i'm so happy to have one. Because i could express my feelings and thought in here. Its really hard to get wat ever my fren teach me on how to edit my blog skin...my fren had to log in n out of the MSN can say kinda irratating but she got a reason...so i understands, so wat to do when she could not help much...then i decided to use the given skin to make my blog look beautiful...well it only 4 a time being...tomoro shes going to teach me on how i could change my blog skin...yeah!!!!!

Ok lah thats all i could write, so continue tomoro.

MuckzZ....