Teacher Scared Us

Dear Diary,

Finally bio test is over, but today we got to finish out project and guess what, those people who did not come today was cursed by teacher, poor them, really scary for us when teacher yelled at komes on the phone, then me and group we really worried because the 2 people with the brains and computer did not come, so left us, so we put our whole head in the project and and try to figure out wats the meaning, so when teacher said we can find any resource, pamela took out my tabbner and i msg fazli to borrow us the medication books, its really helpful did give us alot of information and things to write in the paper...i'm sorry guys if i'm not really helping, but i did help by getting the book...

People guess wat, me, pamela and atika saw the way him rubbing his hands around asyraf shoulder and omg, scared me to death, tats why aishah and atika started to like avoided him a little...to him, please change ok, watever you talks abt and how you behave do take care of them, it might cause u a lot of trouble...

I dont want to be a gay...

Dear Diary,

I wasn't really myself today, so go home from sch with afiq, we talk abt why zubai suddenly become like tat and the surprising part he ask me if i wan to be single my entire life, well, i didnt answer tat, but in my heart i said, of course not la...i wan the feeling of having someone beside me all the time...then i use my hp and tell him, a gay ask me on a date and i'm confused between a girl and a boy...then afiq show me shock face and said "Really?" then i told him abt this guy and also told him tat i reject his love for me..haha..well, at least he concerned abt me becoming one, then i ask him, "Why do gays attracted to me? I'm not tat good looking" he smiled then shook his sholders, then he say mayb its the way kte bergaul...i keep on thinking and thinking, but i mixed with a lot of people and nothing happen pe...then he said mayb i should ask those who i'm close to tell me abt tis more...

Well one thing i asked afiq cuz i wan to know wat guys think of me, as for girls i know a bit of the answers...i hope afiq wont stop being fren with me cuz i said a gay ask me on a date...i need a real guy to be friends with, so i can hold on into my life, since i got lots of girl-friends, its time for me to find more guy-friends tat wont treat me like a ball who can be kick and make a fool of me...

To Afiq,
Other then Fazli and Asyraf, you are one of the nicest guy i had ever met, didn't bully me, treat me like normal guy not like a bapok others like to call me, a guy who came to me when i cried and ask whats my probs..haha first time though other then fazli la, and more to write, well nanti die kembang, haha, kidding...haha..anyway, thanks for being there when i need it...hope we could be friends forever...Other friends also la...now only talking to afiq pe...=)

A Letter For Her

Dear Girl,

You and him had been friends for a very long time and, please just by one word he said to you, you hate him like the world is ending. That does not even mean you had to go away from us when he is around, i also dont wan to lose friends, not saying your fault, but when you and him incedent, there is two groups then 1group, and its like i'm less talking to the other group, and i kinda miss the fun when we were still 1group. He had never avoid you before, he was always there to help and all but not always la, and you got to stop punching and smacking other including me, becuase its PAINFUL...even him cant tolerent tat much...tat time you told me wat happen between you and him, aishah and mariia was there to comfort you, mayb he felt odd going there when you already had someone there...he and F friend got a long because you see how F friend treat him...girl you got to think positive and not thing negative...

Love,
BabyPrinceSabri

Person Who I Care Loves To Lie

Dear Diary,

Today is the day finally i first went to library to study, and also i invited fazli to study with me. Well Fazli came late due to take over some role of his mum...then we study like one geek and then around 1+pm fazli need to go clementi to buy something for his band, otw there, i told fazli, have u tried to msg khairul...one of my secondary friends, he said no, then i tell him , tat i msg him and he did not reply, then i dont bother, when were r going to jovian shop to kpo there, we called kak su my god-sister, to see weather she wan to join us to wonder around....she just finish her tour with her kindergarten children, guess she is tired but still she wan to follow us to walk around...hehe.

We wonder around every shop at city link while waiting for her then she msg and ask us to look for her skirts at island shop, so we did, guess wat, she show us the places of the same shop only different places, so we followed her to where ever she goes, but of course la, we stop to eat...then fazli got an idea and ask permission from kak su and used her phone n msg khairul...khairul of course will surly reply her, and guess wat, he did, n when i msg his the other day, he did not even reply a single thing...its really hurting for me and somemore he lied to kak su and he even spilled his own secret tat he is gay...argh!!! I just had something to say to you khairul...

Dear Khairul,
Ever since in secondary who do you come crying to when you got problem? Ever since in secondary who do you come crying when you and fazli in a fight? When you and fazli fight, who is the person who talk to both of you and not to fight? Its me all along, I care for you and fazli so much untill i can't stop thinking of both of you when u guys fight or u both got problem, i was thinking for a solution the whole night and i couldn't sleep, when u did something wrong, i just got to tell you what were you in the wrong and advice u not to do it again...when u called me and fazli boring, i was hurt and got alittle bit angry and now look at you and gerald, not even close anymore, last time you both we close and i got jealous...then last year dec holiday you invited us to go out and we did, we did have fun but why dont you join in? you actually stay out and put on a long face, if you think we are in the wrong just tell, and the time you hurt me again is when in the airport, u told kak su you perfer talking to fazli abt secrets and stuff but you told me first tat you were gay and abt your family problems but you hurt me by saying tat, i take our relationship as a best friend seriously and now u act like i'm the bad person and you kinda wan to avoid me and take me away, now i'm lost in the middle of no where, to either love you as my bestfriend or just hurting myself by letting you go from my heart? How i wish you could reply and please dont act innocent anymore because its not going to work, all tis happens ever since you become a gay...Let me recall wat u did wrong to me, fazli and kak su,

What you did wrong?
-Hurting my feelings
-Called me and fazli boring
-Lied to me and fazli for not forgetting us if you got a gf/bf
-Lose kak su's trust on you because you just cant stop lieing
-Thinking i'm invincible
-Trying your best to make our friendship disappeared
-Trying to hate me
-Make me confused...

With kak su's helps i will try my best not to take u too deep in my heart because its not wort it, but guess wat, i will never forget you and i will always love and care you even if u hate me.

Bad Day Ended With A Smile

Dear Diary,

Yesterday and today my class is having too much problem, i cant really say out the problems but i think for today most of the classes know wat happen, and also for today during PCA, teacher ask us to sit in a circle and hold each other's hand and think for wat we want for our future and wat we had done during tis days, well then teacher let us open up a section, where to share our feelings towards the class, then end of class the enemies started to say sorry to one another and shedding tears and the best part tat touches my heart is when Jamie & Fazana Huged, i was extremely happy...I wish all the best for u both and hope nothing happen, for amelia, i wish u stop acting childish and end tis in a simple manner and not making it big, as u can see, the enemy started to apologized for wat she had done, so now i wish to see tat part from you...

To Aishah,
I'm sorry if i had ever make you feel irritated, but when i look at you, there are a lot of things tat is different, the thing i notice, you started to get used to the word "BABI", in my 1st year, i never heard those words from you, i dont know, is it me not updated or is it you saying tat word for so long time, and also, please for ur friends sake and for our sake, do had a good rest everyday, because you dont really look alert and not ur normal-self, also keep me updated...

To Afiq,
Have you notice tat ever since tis year, to me la, i see tat a lot of our friends come to you to share their problems, although u always talk pervert, but its no use to them because its a talk talk talk but no action thingy, even aishah dont take it to the heart when u say such nonsense words, hahax, dont get stress out just because of one problem, you and mariia can handle it...I have FATE in you...

To Mariia,
Thanks for hugging me after class, i was wanting a hug from someone but none came, if atika was there surly u n atika will give me a hug, well one thing, i hope this problem will shut down right after next week, or better tomoro, and mariia, you will become an awesome leader, i know it will come someday, although u look kinda blur and not know wat to do, its ok, tis ur first time becoming a leader and when u talk out to fazana, it was superb, and one last thing, you are my very first blonde sister i had and i love you...

Feeling So Lonley

Dear Diary,

Ahh...PCA test, was in the MRT killing myself to understand the Powerpoint slide...haiz, then its PCA test, well i did every questions and answer it with all i can, but i hope it was the correct answers...haha

Well today wasn't feeling myself, oh ya aishah and mariia got to go hm due to sick, hope they are ok and they could resume class for tomoro...hehe...my life is changing, i felt so alone and lonley but my friends were seround me and laughing and making jokes but i was not really enjoying myself, thank you kak j for buying me the prata, but i told u not to buy kan, not fair seh, AFIQ dont follow her, by ur look i know you will do it...please la jgn, if drink can. Atika scolded me for keeping secrets n not telling her, hmm how did she know i got secrets, sorry there bestie, i dont know how to put my feeling to words mayb by my emotinals u can know...i mostly can write down my feelings when i'm feeling stress of emotional, but if someone ask me to wrtie my feelings, i can't because i might not tell the truth...So if you guys see me writting in class when teacher is talking, tat means i got something in mind and and letting it out...haha...

Well, had to bring the stupid project home and was told to write some notes in it, sorry guys if my handwriting is atrocious , i am trying my best to write needly and not make any mistake.

So wat u guys learn abt me today?
-I write my emotionals / feelings
-I cant say out my feelings, cause it will only make me cry.
-Never to ask me to write my feelings, cause i might not tell the truth.

Thats why i decided to open myself a blog and i even cry to ask my mum to join blog but she still prefer to let her feelings out by words, i cant, i need to write or type...

Project Again.....

Dear Diary,

We had to redo our whole geron project, stupid teacher, always aiming at our group, further more there is a worster project tat was done by other group and yet we were the one tat said to not done well, oh well just do it again, n tis time we will make it big and let teacher see tat we could do even better, so we all meet up at 12pm at woodlands library, we start to do the PEPP then we sudden had and idea to do about the same as fauziah's project but in a diffrent ways...so me and pamela go to popular and buy a big i think so call vangart sheet, then we plan, and wrote a few words then we had an idea to use magazines to write to word's title, then we did afew more then its about 4:30pm and then we go eat old chang kie and then we go home, thanks afiq for buying me food, hehe, next week i had to make homefood and bring to school....ahh, now i got to do my revision because next monday i got PCA test, arrr so irritaing la...k lah got to go revise, buh-bye....

Valentine's Day

Dear Diary,

Valentine's Day?? Hmm How do i put it, it so darn boring, do you know why? it because i got no date, hahaha, but when in school there is a performance at the foram (the one in the middle of school), well i see alot of people down there, but too bad for me, the class is abt to start and i cant skip the class, but it suhaimi tat is performing, sorry there suhaimi, i cant watch u perform, when i got into the lecture hall, 3/4 of class B was not there, but its ok, its there fren tat is performing, so teacher dont really mind if they come in abt late, haha...

Then after school, i saw alot of couple, tell u what its so irritating...but the one made me really happy, fazli gave me a card for valentine, i'm extremly happy, i feel like giving a huge hug for fazli, but i'm just scared he dont want it, so i back of a bit.

To: Person
If you hate me, can you just tell me, i'm really open to anything, you made me very worried by not reply my sms, tell you i'm seriously worried...i hope you could read tis and i wish u sms me. Miss you so much

Felt Weird......

Dear Diary,

During P.E lesson, got nothing much to do, didnt bring p.e attire, cuz sick, shikin pretend to b a singer while me n asyraf become the judges, funny seh, then the teacher about to finish class, poor them cant play tat long, so we sat n just open a topic n talk, then suddenly they talk abt relationship, i was so novice abt relationship so i ask mariia, had u ever kissed ur boyfriend? mariia give me a one kinda look and say ya, then afiq say its a stupid question, then i say out, how an i suppose to know if i never had experience relationships b4, they say no wonder and continue talking abt EX. Guys sorry to say tis, i'm hurt by the answers u given, because it was sarcastic and i was called stupid for it...Mayb i was not ment to enjoy conversation abt relationship...

P.S Below paragraph is abt fashions...

I heard a phrase from zubaidah, "I'm scared to be a girl", i understand wat u trying to say, but dont let the fear get into ur mind and u had to force to retreat, if u wan something u really like from a girl, so a head and have a try or even have a feel of it. Treat it as ur first time doing it, haha, tat goes same to me, i'm afriad to even try some of the guys clothes and shoes. And wearing wat guys suppost to wear. Haha...

AFIQ FRIENDSTER PHOTOES IS LOST!!!! AHHH MY HARD WORKS!!!!

Flu & Coughing Week

Dear Diary,

I'm Having a major virus right now tat is flu, sneezing and coughing...its really hurting u know, my nose hurt, and worst of all, i'm like asking around for tissues, painful seh my nose, hate it when i'm sick, but i will try my best to go to sch, if i wan to stay at hm also, my mum will nagged at me, yesterday sick also ask me to do housework, but i did not...haha...

Then Afiq, basket, take my wallet and take all my money n play with it, org tengah sakit, lagi leh kacau eh, naughty, smack u....but kind him he give it back to me,heard tat P.E was canceled due to teacher have meeting so, our group, syahidah's and nazurah's group go swimming, well like always, the same number will go in n same number excluding mariia who did not bring her swimming attire stay on land...thinking of buying ice-cream, and guess wat, i lost, my money, n only left $10 in it, its a huge amount, cant cry, i also dont know why, mayb dehydrated, so cant cry, thx mariia for helping me search for my money, i was totally lost n not know wat to do...

Then go home and during the journey, a girl msg me and ask weather can b friend with her, i told her how she got my number and guess wat she said, she found my number from bus 168, tat is the bus from woodlands to tampanies. Then i told her to do me a favor and stop msging me i'm kinda scared if she would ask me for sex, i know wat people even write there...awwwfull...

A lesson to be learn...Never let anyone touch ur wallet and always bring it where ever u go...

To Afiq,
Kte tahu awk rase bersalah, ok one thing u did wrong, u took my money n play with it n now everyone knows i got lots of money in my wallet, well every $50 is important for me due to, 1 $50 is for my 2weeks allowance and 2 $50 my grandmum gave to me due she know i got not enough money to support myself, so its like a extra money to help me pay class funds and notes, but its ok afiq, u not in the wrong, cause i believe u dont steal my money, afiq baik, please if u ever had in mind of giving ur money to replace my money, tak usah ok...at least i got money to drink tats enough for me....take care....

To Culprit,
U bit*h, so its fun la taking people's money and watch other people suffer?? u think wat, ur FATHER the ruler of the country is it, go FU*K yourself la...if ever i found out, not matter a girl or a guy, u will never see a smile from me to u...CCB!!! I HOPE UR PARENTS REGRET GIVING BIRTH TO A SICK CHILD LIKE YOU!!!!

Thank God

Dear Diary,

2day my sister can go home from hospital, weee...so dam happy, when me and sis reach hm, straight away we jump on our bed and rest, now my sis is sleeping...

Guess wat happen to me?? I got fever and my whole body is shevering, even typing tis entry, i feel so cold, dont know la why i got fever mayb staying too long in hospital make me more sick then my sis, haha...n also the ward where my sis is admitted was freezing, n i need to cover with 2blanket and a jacket to feel warm, ahh....finally today is over, now i wan to take my food and take my medicene, hope by tonight i will feel better...

My holiday sux...

Project Day Turns To Play Day

Dear Diary,

Its Friday and me and mummy wishing tat my sister could go home, but we were wrong, the doctor told they still wanted to observed if there is still any pain but so far my sis say, she can now move more then before, that already i'm feeling happy, hope by tomoro my sis could be discharge and b away from the world of pains.

Today also i got to go do project with a group of friends, atika meet me in hospital and from there we go together, we talk and talk, laugh and laugh but atika bad seh make fun of my laugh...hehe...but its ok, wat to do kan, my laughter is like tat...teehee...guess wat, some people puji my laughter cute tau....nyahahaha. Then we decided to go meet asyraf and haiz, its abt 2pm+ they should be there anytime now...afiq will b abit late, cant blame him due to staying far, so while waiting for him we go T2...thinking of rounding there but asyraf wanted to eat at bugerking....haha...his fav place de...haha...after eating, afiq called and ask where are we...poor afiq got lost in the mrt...haha, but then poor him, did not eat since morning, so we go T3 n guess wat, its crowded and there is no place for us to do our project, so we took a little detour and head back to T2 haha...and we go to BK again, but distime we sit at comfartable place, but seriously my leg and palm is ao sweaty seh, did a bit of the questions told by pemela and guess wat, the laptop fault tat we only had so little time to do our project and we head home...haha

They ones we say good-bye to friends, me and afiq took the bus 868 straight to woodlands.... inside the bus, we did not sleep or kept quiet but while standing, we talk and talk till we reach woodlands...haha, we talk all so random, but no pervert talk, haha, but when he say tat he go to his bro sch to get his bro money back from the stealer, i was impress, and i told him, his brother is really lucky to have a brother like afiq. How i wish i dont have to be the elderst in my family, because i sux being a big brother, i really wish to get a god-brother who could take really good care of me and be there for me when ever i need him...i also wish tat i could be a brother who can take care of my siblings and b braver to smack down those who try to do funny stuff to my sibling, tis is all just simple talk but i cant do it, the most i know my sis is really protective of me and bro, i'm really felt dissapointed in myself. This is my first time feeling so camfatable talking to a guy who dont treat me so diffrently from other guy, well is in face to face....hehe...

Ok lah, now i got to get ready myself and go back to hospital to stay with my sister...wish my sister have great health and b always healthy...


I wish, I wish....

Wat a Day

Dear Diary,

yesterday was a bit making me worried, but everything is ok, 1st good news tat we got half-day till 12pm but we got to go off earlier like 11am due to no P.E...then heard from sis she was admitted to hospital for obervation, then heard abt her ovaries la, apendix or intestine is having problem, then me aishah and atika teman hafiz to make a contact lence, haha, then me and aishah go visit my sis in hospital, atika n bf comming later. Reach there, heard dear sis cant eat due to need to go of scan, to check her ovaries, apendix or intestine. Soory girl looks like u got to eat next day, haha...then a few mins later atika n bf came, then u guess wat, i wan the watch for quiet a long time tapi its ok, i c tis type of watches used by a lot of couple...then we were really bored, thinking of going down to freshen up ourself but tak jadi, so we watch tv, make faces, pretend to b nurses, play with the IV Drip, haha...then waited for sis to go scan so tat me, mum, atika n bf and aishah can go mustafa centre to go shop shop....haha, but her going to scan took us abt 2hours, then its getting la, atika n bf so first, then me and aishah go down to buy things, then when we go up we feel refresh, its fun de...when we go up, we dont feel bored, its like more fun...then afew hours later the nurse took my sis n mum follow them, then its getting late, aishah still with me, then waited till 9.30pm then dad come and visit, then we took of and go mustafa centre, aishah was scared as she told me lots of the guys there was staring at her one kind, i told her, ones u saw them, just jeling at them by saying not interested...haha, we go shop and i bought new bags and some chocolate, how i wish at tis time atika could go out with us, but too bad she wan to go hm. Then all of us go to our own house abt 12am+...haha now i have not even bath or change my clothes due to wan to blog, haha...k lah i wan go bath now...buh-bye....

Letting Out My Past Sadness

Dear Diary,

This thing has pass for quiet a long time but i dont wan to keep it anymore. Its really hurting for me.

Girl, do you know tat i actually believe tat you dont have a boyfriend, i even make fun of u and him and then u said i show attitude towards u and him. Do you know tat u hurt me when u said tat? I was only joking and having fun. And what do you mean by attitude? When u were with ur previous bfs, I'm not even sad but i was really happy for you and also u did try to lie but i got into it, so i wasnt sad at all. Then after day i notice tat your entry is getting more and more clearer tat you got a boyfriend, but i keep on denialing tat you have a boyfriend. When zubaidah and aishah told me tat he was ur boyfriend, i fought back and say you and him just pretend to be together and just to settle ur problems. Then one day i tried to believe tat u got a bf and told aishah, she say kan i told you and she even said u and him were 4months old, then tat give me a really heart pain. So i kept it, and was waiting for you to say sorry to me for lieing abt u having a bf. Then every time i see you and him walking or talking together, i felt really sad and i avoided the feeling and continue my normal life, but i simply cant, if u ask aishah, i always told her how my feelings towards tat. There still lot more for me to say but i just make it short and simple.

Dont worry girl, i'm no longer angry or sad because i had forgive u a long time b4 i wrote tis. This is wat is in my brain n wont leave me alone. So i throw it in here. I know after people read tis, people will start to say this is only a small matter and why are you so sensitive abt it...but this is me, i'm not used to being lied and the person just kept quiet and as if i forgotten but sorry, when ever people lied to me and the person is one of my bestfriends i wont forget abt it, it will just stay in my mind and keep on rolling and rolling till one day i collapse.

Smile Always~~~