Monday, May 16, 2011

He changed...

Dear Diary,

M_ _ changed, i can see it in 2ways,
the 1st way was for his own good :)), is that
-he stop talking about his pass with his ex,
-he kinda stop day-dreaming about his thoughts,
-he became more happier,
-he is learning fast n coping fast,
yes, although, sometimes he do have flash backs upon his past,
-he is willing to move on with his new girlfriend,
and begin a new life,
and oh!
-he also became extremely excited when
he went out with his new girlfriend,
and he would either talk to me on phone,
or when both of us meet, he would tell me everything...
lets hope both of them last long...

the 2nd way wasn't good for me, i dont know about him but
it wasn't good for me...i felt like i'm losing him as a
friend n as my honey... :'(
-when i got emotional, usually, he will consult me n ask me what
happen n why, let it all out, but now, since he know most of the
time its abt him, he will tend to get angry n scold me,
-once i told him, i missed him, he ignore me,
usually if i say something sweet, he would go "oh, u ____ me,
"oh you think im lame, thats so sad" then he disturb me,
but everything is going away. :'(
-when i told him i miss him,
he ignore then he said, u dont need to tell me everything,
if its a secret, let it be a secret, i got shocked when he text me that,
i stared at the text for 2mins, n just reply...
-just recently i planed to teach him the basic abt my camera,
cuz he dont know how to use one, n intend to borrow mine to
snap great memories, i text him 2days ago, abt timing, he didnt reply,
then the day b4, i text him not to forget abt our plan,
n i told him from 12pm-8pm time, i will b at home, he didnt reply,
n guess wat, yesterday itself when we suppose to meet,
at 1pm+ he called, saying,
He:where are you?
Me: Still in amk why?
He: i wanna pass u, your item, cuz im going out.
Me:i told u rite, when ur free then u meet me, what time coming bck?
He: Late at night..
Me: oh, u going out with girlfriend is it?
He: ya
Me: then how im gonna teach u abt camy?
He: dont know
Me: ohok then, bye
He: i will keep ur item 1st, when i meet u in ____, i pass it to u.
Me: mmm...
He: ok
Me: mmm...bye...
then i just hang...

PS: i did my house cleaning forcefully, i cried during shower n during prayers.

Frustrating rite, i know i told him, if on tat day his gf or fam ask him out,
he don't need to meet me, go on with plan, but u see, i text him,
he didn't reply, when he remember's abt my item, he willing to text,
i prepared most of the items to teach him,
i even read up on some of the camera function to let him know,
i actually stay up late n woke up early to find something
to teach him, i guess he just don't get it,
he didn't even say sorry for last min plan or sorry for canceling,
i dont know wat he is up to...

Hun, u know i like u so much, but please,
u need to at least spare a lil bit of ur time for me,
like b there for me, talk to me, like im there for u,
when u need me, instead of scolding me like some spoiled kid,
at least pamper me for a change, im so nice to u when
ur freaking sad or going thru emotions, yet thats u gave me...

Think abt it...
i dont wan to hate u, but ur forcing me out...
like ur saying, ur expired, i dont need u anymore...
please, show some sympathy towards my needs...
all im asking is to show tat u care...

PS: my chest felt very pain just thinking abt it...