Dear Diary,
I had just the worst day ever in my entire life, i never react so hard on tis type of situation...
My Friends were all confused wat happen to me, haha, cuz when we go "bush-bush" i was really active, i was playing with everyone, taking pictures and running here n there...haha, then when at school, i disturb people, laughing and happily play some sort like catching...
Here when it happen, i was told by sister n babe to tell a friend to leave my project group, then there was a total silent for a while, n i smile to control my emotions, n i told them, i wan to go toilet, n i go to toilet, set in one of the cubical n type the sms and send to her, was really upset, cuz i never did something harsh or say it to any friend. When its time to go bck to group, i pretend to b happy and jumping around, n i saw friend with tissue in her hands, so i know she was hurt, cuz of the msg, so i kept quiet, i cant even talk.
Then all of us walk to the lift, hid-hid had a teary look n she was talking to pamy, boy came to her and ask lots of questions, i just swing my hands on boy's stomach, meaning something is wrong, when we get into the lift, we all were squeezy, faubabe was like pushing to the bck, boy stop her and said jgn, tgk sab muke sedih, (an advice for boy, next time jgn tegoh, if im in emo status kene tegoh, i will get worst.) then we go out of lift, follow friends to wrong way, haha...
Then tis is when i got worst n almost broke down, friend tap my bck and said thanks for the msg, was controling and controling, pulled pamy, n she scolded me, she thinks tat i was playing, then, i slowed down n saw rusy, pulled her, she saw my face all teary and huged me, i heard she said "Sab not you too" n i just brokedown hard on her shoulders, (hope its not wet, haha) she heard me crying, (i can't cry alone, or else i got tis intention to commit suicide.) then friend come to me, and talk to me, well she doesn't expect the msg is coming from me, if it was from sister or babe she dont mind...and she said things, n i dont wan to mention it here...
Time to go in class, with my blank face, i walk fast, find myself a sit, and put my bag on table, huged it and put my head on it, cry silently, then my group members and hid-hid group come asking me, why u crying? did anyone bully you? is it bcuz of friend? I didnt answer a single thing and just cry, boy come along and sweep everyone away by saying, let him breath and let him relax 1st, some was trying their best to make me laugh, i tell u, it was really funny, but i just cant laugh, my emotions was really tight, pamy and bestie sat beside me and try to calm me down, teacher ask why he is laying down? pamy and friends said im sick, haha so sweet, covering my bck, pamy was really trying her best to make me smile, i remember every single thing she did.
Friend is really trying her best to finish the drawing and she showed to sister and babe, the come to me, lay on my shoulders, and said sorry, cuz of her im like tis and try her best to bring me up and said everyone is very worried abt me, after heard she said sorry, everything is settled, i calm down but still stay in tat position cuz i still cant get to my normal emotions...then pamy wrote a cute letter for me (If i got time, i take the picture of it and place it here), she tried her best and finally she know a joke tat i always laugh abt, she draw eyes at her hands and make it like a puppet, and i start smiling and bestie made the gay voice, i smiled again, then got tired, pamy tap my back as if she is sleeping her little bro, n i sleep soundly, i woke up, i felt abt better, my body temp drop to normal temp, and its going to end lesson soon, haha, boy took pamy wet tissue and place it at my bck and say cute la, like little shark fin, haha, wanted to laugh but cant yet...
Then apologize to TPS teahcer for sleeping in his class and go see MrRT (haha) with a few of my friends to give the class list, then basket boy force me to go in to c MrRT, eeeee...feel like killing him, but cant, without him my friend list isnt complete, so i let him live, haha, n how i am surprise, he knew tat if im Emo, no one know wat happen till i calm down and tell...haha, well i thought guys wont care and wont give a dam, i also thought they only care when girls cry, but really boy did surprise me, haha...and boylaugh almost make me laugh, cuz i never seen him so serious in the conversation room with us...
Then go home with sister, cuz i know if i go hm with my friends, for sure they will keep on irritated me and ask, why u cry bla bla bla and for sure boy will disturb me till i spill it out, well when i go hm with sister, she talk talk talk n i listen, and finally i felt ok and i spill out the horrible medication, and told her wat happen, and straight after sister get out of MRT, i msg all my friends abt wat happen, and why i cry, then i laugh at almost all the replies, lagi-lagi boy and boylaugh msg...haha, but then thanks for replying, at last i msg everyone replied within seconds...haha
To Friend,
I hope whatever u seen today on me, would take a lesson for u, i didnt wan to kick u out cuz u got problems and more but i dont wan to c my bestie, sister or friends to suffer more cuz of ur reasons, if u felt invincible, dont start to think negatively, try to reflex wat happen and why it happen, so far today really effect me cuz it just stab me in the heart for doing harm to u, i dont wan to harm or hurt any of my friends but i just have to do it. Mayb if u didnt know, i tell u now, sometimes u got to watch wat u say cuz u dont know who might b hurt with ur words and also try not to make any reasons cuz the more reasons u make the more friends wont believe you, also try not to make family problem delay u bck from doing something in school, remember, school time is for school, family problem is for family time but of course it wont hurt if u wan to tell us abt ur problems, but u must not take tis problem of urs to effect the school work...
I love my friends even thought they stab me in the back or i hate them, cuz you guys have always been there for me and we share our problems...
So friend, now lets friends relax and calm down 1st, then find a perfect timing and ask them, why u hate me or avoid me, then ones u know the reason, try to change and ask them for a chance, ohk? I'm not supporting anyone in here, im the middle guy, cuz i hear both party reasons...i hope by the end of school time, our relationship get stronger ok...and we will laugh abt everything happen in school...love you...take care....
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