Dear Diary,
Sometimes, i felt scared to face the future, cuz i dont have many friends, as u can see, im quiet and way to emotional, some people say im too dependable . Wats make me like tis and make me see tis way is, i got a bestie whom i love so much have a many friends, but i suddenly dont felt the bestiness from him, i got tis feeling tat im losing grab of him and soon or later we might just forget each other, why i say like tat cuz, now i dont hear any secrets from him, i didnt get any invitations from him to go out, we got quiet when we r together,i cant stand his jokes, sometimes to painful, but never show him the emotion pain b4, now i know nuts wats going on in his life. I felt there is a blockage in between our bestfriendship. I wan to keep both my besties hearts alive in my heart but i keep on feeling tat I keep on making mistake tat i dont know and making them further away.
Sometimes, i feel tat in tis world, i got no one to depand on, each individual of my friends have friends to depand on incase something happen. I dont have anyone but myself, if u talk abt family, my family even have friends to depend on. Sometimes i feel like being evil but my heart has no place for being evil, i cant really b a extrovert, i felt the girl in me wan to come out but i keep on forcing it to go away, i wan to b part of the guys' world, guys have lots of friends example members for playing soccer, hanging out, smoking and more, and i dont suit in one of those things, if i wan to make friends who is my kind, i just felt like im insulting myself. N yes i do felt insulted being around with my kind of people, cuz when i was young, i hang out with guys and they bully me and making soft hands to insult me so if i hang out of with my kind, i felt like they teasing me...
Before my watery eyes starts to overflow, i better stop here...
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