Im feeling not appreciated

Dear Diary,

You know wat? i kinda felt not appreciated either at home or in school, at home, for the past 1week of holiday, i planned to sit at home n rest, since its fasting month, n for sure i will b tired, but i had to help in make the kuihs and going for religous reading, ITS tireing ok, imagine i have to wake up after fasting started, at 7am, getting ready to go for religous reading and when reach home, str8 do the kuih, walau, then tired i open comp awhile and then sleep...its like everyday la...

then come tis week, on the 1st dat tat is monday, she nag at me, along pat rumah tau buat pe? main computer je terus, tgk, pinggan semua tak cuci, lantai tak mop, lagsir tak bukak...so wat is she try to say anyway, tat i have been playing computer everyday without doing anything? hello, i use the comp after i done wat u ask and now u say i use comp everytime, hey its not my fault, im in the holidays, so long i never use comp tat long and yesterday i clean the entire house, and i use the comp only at night. and yesterday i over heard mum and grandmum both gossiping abt me, ppl got attitude on their own, i wan to b angry, i wan to b sad, i wan to evil, i wan to b good, so wat, its MY attitude, and my mood swings faster now of tis days, bcuz ppl 1st dont appreciate me, 2nd never think of me, 3rd never let me do wat i wan, im 18, i wan to at least b free at home, if u wan to control, do so when im out of the house...

and why i say in school, cuz i heard from bestie tat he dont like me being a leader, cuz of WAT? im slow, im forgetful, hey tis is like my extreme long time since i been a leader, the last time i been a leader was sec3 1st term, leading the sec1 oretation camp...also i SUX at it...if u dont like me being a leader in the 1st place, why dont u tell me straight, so i can tell the class, i dont care if they hate me or anything, hate me as much as they want cuz at least they will b a better leader, and not only him, someone i trust and asked for advise for in being a leader, wat is he? thinking so big, so huge, if u hate me being a leader cuz im not being a GOOD leader like u say so, tell me, so i can tell teacher YOU be the leader instead of me...

and atika, sometimes i look in the msn, u r not online, sometimes i really wan someone to talk to but u r not there, when i look for others, all r not there, e.g anis, aishah, asyraf, i wan to say zubai, she already have much problems, so i dont wan her to carry my problems with her...atika problem is settled, n i guess i can yes...oh, when u guys wan me to msg or anything, please, 1st you guys will reply EXTREME late, untill ones i fall asleep and the person replied me abt 2-3hours later...2nd u guys might b buzy to just reply...i took some of my time making kuih to reply msges...nvm i guess, everything will b JUST fine IF im alone...

HOW I LOVE TO BE ALONE...HERE TAT? ALONE!!!!!!