Monday, September 10, 2007

Why i'm a louzy person....

Dear Diary,

2day is Behaviour Science test, well i dont have much comment on it, its kinda ok la, cannot say easy or hard...but at least hopfully i could get either C or B...phobia to get D. After the test, me and my friends go eat at KFC...but atika n shikin did not eat with us cause b4 we all wanted to eat at long john but the place cramp n the food is expensive, so atika n shikin felt lazy to follow so they stay n eat there...whahaha...

When going home tat time, we all did our own thing, so i deiced to sit n listen to music, suddenly i felt the EMO thingy came to me n i started to think abt who i m to people? why n why n why? I cant stand it almost cried but cant cause my frens were there, we took pictures but lazy to update...I dont know why i cant tell anyone abt my problems cause if i do my heart will like pump very fast n really i dont wan to cry in front of my friends...I could only express it in tis kind of way tat is by blogging n chatting...

Its kinda bored for person who had been reading my blog...but those who dont know mayb i write...i really cant study due to tis thing is stuck in my brain, I ones ask a guy to compare me n a soft guy from class e...and the good news is tat he said the boy from class e is much irritating n kinda lazy when attachment, bad news is tat i'm much softer then him, when i heard tat my heart drop n broken to pieces...but i keep my cool n nood...its ok i dont mind...

I'm a brother of 2siblings, n u know wat i cant handle them, n everyone is counting on me to take care of them, it realy give me lots of stress and u know wat, everytime my mum told me abt how she feel when my sis go out hm n come hm late, i felt like i'm not a great brother...i'm too soft hearted...n i got tis feeling people is comparing me with my cousin...

Trying my heart to change but nothing is working, my heart for guys is still there, wanted to get rite of it but cant, a guy told me to pray to god n stay close to him n i could change, now i'm doing it and hopefully one day i could change...so far no Hot Stuff in school...tats a good sign...

I cant leave on my own, or else my EMO Self will appear n i will start to think tis n tat, like eg...when my frens started to talk to each other n sometimes i'm either infront or behind alone...tats when my EMO self will appear, I know i'm not talkative or anything, i'm boring and nothing to my friends, but looking at them happy makes me happy, i never wan to c my friends sad, expectionlly Atika & Zubai...Fau not tat i forget u or something but i dont know, i cant really talk to u when u r sad, hehe scared u cry...hehe

Tis EMO thingy is really making me lose control of myself, even Mariia wanted to talk to me but i just cant let it out...

I felt Not Loved when i'm Already Being Loved, I dont feel Secure when i'm Already Secure.

This Wed, I force myself to go to Sentosa, with or not with my friends, but if with my friends it would b even better...but who knows i might drown when i go swimming at sentosa, got accident b4 reaching sentosa, only god knows...


I try to control my Emotion, but i guess its overloaded n i cant handle it , n i Losing control.
Prepare Urself,
Who knows i might not continue writing my blog,
mayb i die during my sleeping time?

Kak J, I'm really sorry, tomorrow i cant go Pool with u n friends due to not feeling well...




PS: Tis is only 40% or my problem...

No comments: