Emotinal Day

Dear Diary,

today was bio class test1, i was not really preapred but i did study 2day before test, and also i try memorizing the stuctures, then when its time for test, i was praying to god, please make tis class test as simple as posibble, and yes my wish came ture but my memory of the things i read was erase of, i was really trying my best to recover my thoughts but i failed, then it left 5mins till test was over, so i shivering all over the place till one of my friends ask me to stop shaking, then its finally over, n guess wat i did not do a single writing on question 2c, its like 6marks, then out of the theatre, i felt myself hot but outter was cold, then i started to cry, i walk as fast as i can so i can hide myself from azmi, as i know he will be looking for me, i dont wan to cry infront of him but its too late, he came to me n i was crying softly and i ask him not to talk to me for a moment, then he comfort me and i did stop crying.

But worst came to me, the fear of getting scold by teacher in in my brain n over tat, i got angry with almost everyone for small things, i got angry with afiq but i did not tell him, over he dont wan to go hm with me by MRT, and also i was angry at fazli for not waiting for me after school. Then i'm sorry aishah if i made u think i'm angry cause of you. My girl-friends made me happy but i just cant show my total happiness 2day.

1st cried then 2nd got angry, 3rd not feeling happy tat much. Ni ways, thank you zubai for cheering me up by going rounding in causeway point and also we took a picture and make it into asmall card tat could fit in our wallets....teehee...k lah tats all....hope everythings goes well tomorro....

OH No...I Dont Want Tis FeeLings Again!!!

Dear Diary,

Well, today everything goes well but i starting to feel tat my old self started to come back to me, i was so happy for knowing myself but today suddenly i felt weird and i started pinching, emotional, sensitive, everything was hidden but the pinching gives people scars and bruises, the victim was afiq and asyraft, I'm really sorry guys, my emotional status starting to grow inside me, n i unconsciously know tat it gone worst.

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Things tat come back to me:

1. Falling for guys

2. Pinching

3. Emotional /Sensitive

4. Jealousy

5. Loneliness

6. FAT!!!!

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OMG!!! Please dont cry now, i completely dont know what is into me now, i just wan to be normal like any normal guys but i guess it keep on failing. But for now the important is tat i got good boy friends who could tolerant my pinching, wont hit me back and made me laugh and dont run away from me due to my softness, and also girl friends who always make me happy and smiling always. I love them, i will try to reduce tis old version of me and maintain my friendship with them.

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I would like to give my love to all my friends.

Besties&Closeses Friends names are:

Fazli(BoyTwin),Atika(GirlTwin), Aishah(Mother), Zubaidah(Niece), Mariia(Sister) Pamela,

Afiq(Uncle), Asyraf, Hafiz, Shikin.

Test, Test & Shop, Shop

Dear Diary,

Phase test was kinda hard for me cause i got not enough time to practice but lucky for me during my phase test i got Ms Julie, although i do it very slowly, she is very patience as i do my things, then after everything i finally can breath, then fazli ask me to follow him to funan mall, aishah followed too, after going to funan, we go shop at bugis street, me and fazli bought the same cardigen and me aishah and fazli bought the same type of watch but diffrent colours, hehe, its really fun tat day but kinda bored for me due to siblings gone to BBQ as me stuck in Singapore to do my test...haiz...but tis ok...n guess wat, 2day i found a huge amount of money in my home locker, i was really shock, mayb god fate me to get the money instead of going to BBQ...woohoo...now i can spent more...but not now la, mayb during the holidays....kakakaka

Horrible Day to day....

Dear Diary,

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2day i was kinda moody and i talk less, dont know, out of the sudden i felt so sensitive towards myself and some of my friends, keep on thinking and thinking and it keep on rewinding inside my mind, i cant help it, felt emotional but i hold it, thought i could let go the emotional at hm but i was wrong, during CS class, mariia wanted to sit with zubai and zubai wanted to sit with mariia, so heard mariia wanted to ask pamela to change sit but cant, she is with atika then i suggest why not i move to zubai place and zubai come to my place, but mariia refuse me to change.

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Then, suddenly i heard teacher said, "i'm so sorry to those people who love cats and dogs" then in my mind was thinking, is it the story wat fazli was telling me? then it come out, was nothing at 1st as poeple was only talking, the suddenly i saw a cat was caged and the way the pick up the cat was using the metel picker and just choke it and place it in a small cage, then when i saw a person shedding the cat's skin, i broke down, all the way, tears was flowing down my cheeks as i close my ears and try not to listen to it, mariia, atika and a few girls behind me told me, tis was in 2005 and now no one is wearing those furs. Then i calm down a bit, my body felt very warm as i'm sweating and still crying, as the video finished, mariia and me thought its over but we were wrong, there was still more, i read the tittle as it says abt wolf and bears, straight away stand up and with a loud voice, i told teacher i wanted to go toilet.

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As i was walking towards the door, i heard voices saying why he cry? In my heart i felt like shouting, CAN'T YOU TELL? It so obvious tat i love animals very much and with tat videos i hate it, i walk in a fast speed to the toilet and i was crying to loud, and when i go in the toilet i saw a boy but i dont care him and continue crying, i go to one of the cubical and sit on the toilet bowl, i cry as hard as i can and keep on cursing those people and suddenly few mins passed i heard Afiq calling for me, but i kept quiet and the 3rd time he called me i answered, then i heard khairul's voice, and both of them is telling me to come out so they could talk to me, but i refused, few times they tried but i refuse, then there was a total silence and i thought they left and i was like looking at the time and tell myself, why not go to the class, its late, then i saw afiq and khairul was talking softly, i was like smiling to widely and told them, why wait for me?? then they comfort me and say why were u so sad 2day?? is it the video or u got other problem? i told them, 1st was i felt sensitive towards friends then suddenly teacher show us tat video, so i cant take it and broke down. They told me, if u got any problem or anything just talk to them and also those people who is close to you example atika & pamela, khairul told me, they were nice people, duh i know, my bestfriend de...haha...then afiq made me laugh, wipe my tears then they invite me to class, haha.

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Walked beside khairul and afiq, then when reach the class, khairul open the door then followed by him afiq told me to walk in 1st then him, i was embarrassed and close my mouth cause i was smiling with my red face, haha, then friends come to me and keep on asking me why you cry?? and start hugging me, thank you friends, then heard from mariia tat after i left teacher show 3more videos and she said, "Please sabri dont come to class yet" and as she was worried for me she told afiq to go look for me then khairul come along.

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How sweet of mariia, love you sister and THANK YOU afiq and khairul was there for me when i was crying in the toilet, and to all my friends, including atika, pamela, aishah, zubaidah and mariia who hugged me, really need it. AWW...i'm really going to missed my whole classed when i passed out, and tell u all wat, tat is not the 1st time i cried so badly, its my 2nd time, lol, 1st was in CP...k lah need to drink more water as i am dehydrated from crying to rabak....teehee....

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I LOVE YOU ALL !!!!!!

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THANK YOU