Am I Special? How Do i Change In2 a Real Guy?

Dear Diary,

[What is so Special?]
I sometimes dont get what my friends are trying to say...theysay i'm special, but look at me, what is so special? I'm just a kid who hangs out with friends and thats all, i think. Nothing special. Can say if i'm special, why is there people who still hate me? Ok lah, maybe there is something special about me thats not yet written in my heart. I wonder how long untill it will be written....hmm

[How do i change in2 a guy]

Hmm...how am i suppose to change into a normal guy.

[Normal Guy Should Have...]

- Guys Walking
- Talk normaly
- Nice To Girls
- Like Girls
- Not Giving In To Bullies

[What I got....]

- Model Walking (Some of my Friends said)
- So call Sweet talk
- Like pinching
- Like Both Gender (Boys&Girls)
- Afried of Bullies

Actually, Im not ready to be a real guy and something inside of me said, "If u be a normal guy, your life and family will come back to you". I wan that but i dont know who to ask help from, i can't ask from guys,because some of them might teach me the wrong thing and maybe they willbetoo rough onme. If for girls, they will think of a guy they like,and just give advice on what they see from the guy they like.I can't ask my mum and dad cause if they know i'm not a straight guy, they will like scold me to death. The only thing i could now do is to depand on myself and pray to god and hoply all my hard work of being a normal good guy will be succesful.